Last week I witnessed a miracle and I didn't even realize it.
If you didn't already know, I'm a nurse at the hospital on a cardiac step down unit. Our patients can crash at any minute and we're trained to handle that should it happen, but on any given day things go the way they are supposed to and all crises are avoided. However, last week, during a single shift, we almost lost three of our patients.
On days like that you get extremely behind on your work. You most likely either miss lunch or stuff your face with the unhealthiest of meals in 5 minutes flat. You're overwhelmed, frustrated and exhausted. You wonder why you even became a nurse.
So on that particular day, I was all of the above. Overwhelmed, hangry, exhausted and questioning my career choice. I called my husband on the way home (at least an hour and a half late) to complain about how terrible my day was.
As I reflected on the day when I got home, I realized that my perspective was all wrong. Yes, it was awful. Yes, we were all at work way past our usual time playing catch up. No, none of us got a proper break. Yes, three people almost died, but glory to God three people LIVED! Three lives were saved and I'm close to tears as I write this because I'm just realizing what I experienced. How could I not see the miracle that happened right in front of me, the miracle that I got to be a part of?
In Mark 6, we see Jesus' disciples experiencing something similar. The disciples are on their boat heading to Bethsaida. They are in the middle of a storm and having a terrible time crossing the sea. Jesus sees that His friends are struggling so He walks out onto the water to help them. When the disciples see Him walking on the water, they are frightened and think that He is a ghost. It seems like a legit reaction, but here's the thing, the disciples had just witnessed Jesus turn five loaves of bread and two fish into a meal for 5000 +! You would think they would have realized who Jesus was and what He was capable of. But the bible says that the disciples had not yet understood what Jesus did with the fish and loaves and their hearts were hardened.
If you go back and read the story of Jesus feeding the 5000, you'll see that the Bible doesn't tell us the disciples' reaction to the experience. I think that maybe their reaction wasn't what it should have been. 12 people feeding 5000 sounds like a lot of work so I can imagine that they were busy. I'm sure they were exhausted. They were probably starving and maybe just a little aggravated because they would have beat the storm had they not been there so late.
I think that just like my coworkers and I, the disciples were still surprised by Jesus because they actually missed the miracle He performed that day. Sure, they knew what Jesus had done. They were there; they helped him. My coworkers and I knew that three lives were saved, but instead of experiencing the miracle, we were focused on what the miracle was costing us.
How often do we miss the amazing things God is doing both around us and through us because our perspectives are all wrong? We allow our emotions to cloud our circumstances until we can't even see what's right in front of us.
My pastor always says "the servants see the miracles" and I believe that, I really do, but I think sometimes we servants forget to look up. In the midst of all of our serving and busyness we get on sort of an autopilot mode. We pray, we serve, we give. God provides. We check it off the list and move on, never stopping to appreciate His power. My call to my husband that night should have been one of celebration, but my focus was on all the wrong things. So instead, I complained when I should have been rejoicing.
Last week three people could have died, but they didn't.
God is still in the miracle performing business. If you haven't witnessed one, my question to you is: have you looked up lately? It may have just passed you by.